What's your Love Language?

You probably have been exposed to, in some way or another, Gary Chapman’s Love Languages. (If you have not yet read this book, I highly recommend it.) I have used this tool in numerous situations when dealing with people of all ages. I would like to talk with you now about how you can apply the genius in this system to your own family. Mr. Chapman explains in his book Love Languages that there are five different ones and each of us has a predominate language. The languages include the following:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Let’s quickly review the essence of each of these before moving on. A person whose Love Language is words of affirmation needs from you validation of worth through your comments. These people will work for nothing if you just tell them what a great job they are doing! Quality time is pretty self explanatory; these individuals need time with you to feel your love. A person whose love language is gifts will hear love when presented with tangible items; this individual loves “things.” An act of service person hears their language spoken when another does something for them.
My husband is an acts of service person. I discovered this shortly after reading Mr. Chapman’s book. Keith will clean the garage and tell me, or empty the dishwasher and announce, “The dishes are put away!” I quickly realized that what he is really saying is, “I clean the garage because I love you.” I just tag onto his declarations, ‘because I love you’ and it all makes sense. Since learning this, I now make the effort to speak ‘his language’; I will do things like make his lunch before he heads into work. This simple task speaks loud and clear to him – he is loved!
The final language is physical touch; this is not to be confused with romantic touch. The physical touch person is exemplified for the person who feels love through a hug or a pat on the back.
Take a minute to think about your love language and then some time to discover the languages your family members speak. This is a great tool that can enhance communication and allow you to connect readily with those most important to you.